Total Hunk Sitting Over By Plant

SCHAUMBURG, IL—According to several female shoppers at Woodfield Mall, a total hunk was sitting by a plant near the Wok ’n’ Roll booth Friday. “He’s so cute,” said Melanie Ford, 22. The hunk was reportedly wearing a gray cardigan sweater and had “strong-looking hands.” “I’m, like, imagining what it would be like to ride in his car,” Ford’s friend, Jessica Loew, said. A One Potato Two official could not verify the report, as the manager had left strict instructions that the register was not to be left unattended.