Bhutan
Population: 750,000 people who are one with all
National Anthem: 3 minutes of children laughingEducation: 97% of residents know the sound of one hand clappingEconomy: Mostly service industry jobs of either taking people up mountains or carrying their corpses down mountainsDemographics: 65% National Geographic freelance photographers, 35% ethnic BhutaneseGeography: Once beautiful, diverse landscape destroyed by monastery construction boom over past few centuriesMain Source Of Happiness: Watching Western backpackers think they’re having spiritual epiphanies
Canada
Form Of Government: Brutally oppressive regime that prevents Quebec from secedingOfficial Languages: French, weird-sounding EnglishPercentage Of Population Comprised Of American Men Shirking Call Of Duty: 9Most Common Profession: Well-enough-regarded actorMain Exports: None. Not really into imposing themselves that way.Maple Leaves Branded Onto Every Newborn Child: YesPaul Anka Index (PAI): 100
Switzerland
GDP: 72% tennis-based earnings from Grand Slam singles titles
Largest Employers: International art theft rings, international jewel theft ringsCurrency: LotsNumber Of Colossal Statues Of Lindt Chocolate Founder David Sprüngli-Schwarz Carved Right Into Mountainsides: 53Artisanal Handcrafted Goods: Out the assLife Expectancy Of Former SS Officers Residing In Idyllic Alpine Chalets: 92
Euphora Bora, Southern Joy Island
Length Of Average Sunset: 24 Hours
Standard Of Living: All-inclusiveNational Blood Alcohol Content: 0.09Geography: 52% sun-dappled, 48% sun-kissedHours Per Day Spent Laughing While Throwing Fishing Nets Into Shallows: 7Crushing Poverty Of Island Natives: Easily overlooked
United States
Main Export: U.S. companiesNational Cuisine: SecondsPercentage Of Happiness SSRI-Induced: 72Resting On Laurels Since: 1957Infrastructure: Works fine after good whack with wrenchGreatest Moment Of Happiness Average Resident Will Ever Experience: Going to batting cage at the Family Sports CenterInfant Mortality: So, here’s the thing with that…
