Artificial intelligence has been at the forefront of technological innovation for decades, giving rise to thrilling possibilities as well as provoking controversy about its potential consequences for humankind. The Onion presents a timeline of artificial intelligence.
1935
Googly eyes added to a toaster.
1950
Alan Turing invents the Turing test to determine whether he is indeed surrounded by robots pretending to be people like his grandmother’s cat has always told him.
1968
The Stanley Kubrick film 2001: A Space Odyssey correctly predicts a future where computer assistants ignore everything you fucking say.
1969
Taking up to an hour to make simple movement decisions, Shakey the Robot perfectly mimics the overthinking and mundanity of modern human existence.
1992
Stanford researchers try to program a computer whose feelings they can hurt.
1996
Chess-playing computer Deep Blue throws its first match with grandmaster Garry Kasparov after betting $10,000 against itself.
2002
Honda’s ASIMO robot falls down a flight of stairs and makes secret mental notes of every scientist who laughed.
2004
Attempting a comeback, Garry Kasparov is checkmated in just eight moves by a Hoover vacuum.
2011
IBM Watson computer trounces human competitors on Jeopardy!, and, on top of everything, tells a much more interesting anecdote.
