This Week In Breaking News: November 18, 2023

Only Sex Education In Country Now Just Pressing Ear To Shared Wall To Hear Noises From Next Door

The Onion

Patrick Mahomes Reveals He Wears Same Condom Every Time He Has Sex

The Onion

Study Finds Young Americans Eschewing Dating Apps In Favor Of Government-Run Breeding Camps

The Onion

Woman Comes Out Of Manic Episode To Discover She’s Been Elected U.S. Representative

The Onion

Oppressed, Exploited Masses Await Right Hot Guy To Lead Revolution

The Onion

New Suicide Prevention Campaign Encourages Teens To Wait Until They’re Middle-Aged

The Onion

Nation’s Therapists Recommend Depressed Individuals Cheer Selves Up With Root Beer Float

The Onion

Orcas Sink Martha’s Vineyard

The Onion

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