It’s not polite to brag, even around the penniless street urchins. Here are things you should never say to someone who makes less money than you.
“I am better than you.”
That goes without saying.
“Should we take my helicopter or yours?”
This can be embarrassing for low earners who may only have a beat-up chopper that’s always in the shop.
“Can you afford this restaurant, or do you have to stay in and eat dog food?”
Just because someone earns less than you doesn’t mean they eat kibble, pages from a book, or their own clothes.
“I have a ton of extra Amazon boxes if you need a place to stay.”
Although you mean well, it’s safe to assume your friend already has an Amazon box of their own they can live in on the street.
“I have a dentist’s appointment.”
It’s gauche to brag about your comprehensive medical coverage when your friends can’t even afford to have teeth.
“You can keep this penny if you can catch it in your mouth and successfully pass it through your digestive tract.”
No matter how well intentioned this gesture may be, it can actually come across as condescending.
“I just want you to know that even though I’m hunting you for sport, I don’t think I’m better than you as a person.”
Delivering this message could give your prey a chance to escape.
“Lunistra.”
They aren’t to know the password to the masquerade!
“Why don’t we compare piles of cash?”
This also includes stacks of gold bars and mountains of gems.
“I’m off to the secret rich people meeting!”
Quiet, you rich fool!
“Get your poor hands off me!”
Even the impoverished deserve the kindness of human touch sometimes.
“I appreciate your willingness to fulfill your civic duty by serving on this jury.”
If you really were grateful you’d pay more than minimum wage.
“You should find a better job.”
While the advice might seem helpful, it’s more polite to avoid humiliating someone for never having thought of making more money.
“Here’s a little something for your trouble.”
Just slip the crisp $20 in their front pocket and wink.
“You should really try to get more exercise.”
Easy for you to say doc, you can afford a gym membership.
“If it’s any consolation, your kids will also likely make less than my kids.”
There’s no reason to tell someone that they’ll be dragging down the earning potential of their descendants for generations.
“Let’s just split the bill down the middle.”
You think they ordered an appetizer sized salad without protein because it looked like the best thing on the menu?
“Are you hungry?”
They’ll just keep scratching at your back door if you feed them.
“Hello.”
Even the mildest forms of humanity given to the poor could possibly result in revolution.
“How’s your day going?”
They make less money than you. Obviously it’s going bad, dipshit.
