Though it is not FDA-approved for weight loss, Ozempic, an injectable drug used to treat diabetes, has helped users shit and puke away the pounds. These are things that you should never say to someone taking Ozempic.
“Oh nice! I’m on crack, myself.”
Ozempic users don’t want to think of themselves as taking a harmful drug.
“Don’t worry. No matter what you decide, you’ll always be fat to me.”
This is actually incredibly heartwarming.
“Have you tried loving your body for what it is instead?”
Sure, why don’t they go ahead and do something that hasn’t ever been achieved by any human in history?
“That commercial makes me want to fucking kill myself.”
Aren’t we at a point where every commercial is supposed to do that?
“I was the guy who came up with the idea of counting down to the Olsen twins’ 18th birthday.”
You just shouldn’t say this to anyone.
“I guess I’ll have to stop playing the tuba to accompany your steps while you’re walking down the street.”
You could’ve gone with a smaller brass instrument to be kind.
“Aren’t you hungry?”
You fool, you just made them gain all the weight back with that one question.
“Want to watch me eat a steak while you sit there, nauseous?
What? It would be rude not to offer!
“And will that fix your personality as well or is that going to stay the same?”
They may become more of an asshole after they lose the weight.
“You still look old, though.”
Ozempic for aging hasn’t finished clinical trials.
“I injected Ozempic into my foot once, and it immediately shriveled up and fell off.”
Don’t give them any ideas.
“I’ve never taken Ozempic, and I look great.”
Don’t force an Ozempic user or anyone else to feed into your totally baseless belief in your attractiveness, you hideous slug.
“Well, if you don’t have the appetite to eat the French onion beef casserole I slaved over all day, then you can get the hell out of this house, just like your whore of a brother!”
Struggling with obesity is already tough enough without being reminded of how sexually loose their brother is.
“Ozempic should be reserved for people with diabetes or a nice hat.”
Gate-keeping other people’s medication? Not a good look.
“Doughboy wants to lose weight, huh? Pillsbury doughboy wants to lose weight? Hey, everyone, Pillsbury doughboy wants to lose weight! Jump up and down and show the people how fat you are. That’s right, jiggle for us, doughboy. You make me sick.”
There are better ways to let someone you care about know you’re concerned for their health and well-being.
“Having a corporeal form is overrated.”
Although it’s definitely more ideal to be nothing more than a floating, weightless orb of light, some people can’t avoid having a body of flesh to inhabit.
“I’m not really sexually interested in you unless you’re over 750 pounds soaking wet.”
If you really loved them, you would follow them on this weight-loss journey, no matter your own preferences.
