Entertainment The Week In Review Published: January 11, 2010 Cat Refuses To DieVirgin Mary Night-Light Stares Accusingly As Christian Teen MasturbatesVH1 Reality Show Bus Crashes In California Causing Major Slut SpillNation’s Nipples Severely Under-Clamped, U.S. Bureau Of Masochism ReportsClint Eastwood Continues Desperate, 40-Year Attempt To Win Over Unimpressed ManEveryone At Hospital Already Hates Wes WelkerRedwood Tree Completes 300-Year Plan To Lean Slightly To LeftMan Gets Life In Order For 36 Minutes Advertising State Of The Union Could Coincide With 'Lost' Premiere Continued on next page Explore Tags Vol 46: Issue 1 Related Coverage Most Shocking Takeaways From HBO’s New ‘Sopranos’ Documentary Our Devices: They’re Listening, Sure, But Do They Really Get Us? Horrified Taylor Swift Realizes Football Happens Every Year