The Week In Pictures – Week Of May 22, 2017

Whippoorwill Has Had Same 3-Note Song Stuck In Head For Entire Life
Whippoorwill Has Had Same 3-Note Song Stuck In Head For Entire Life
‘I’m Just Here To Win Football Games,’ Says 22-Year-Old Draft Pick Who Will Get Everyone Fired
‘I’m Just Here To Win Football Games,’ Says 22-Year-Old Draft Pick Who Will Get Everyone Fired
Historians Discover Thomas Jefferson May Have Secretly Fathered Multiple Other Countries
Historians Discover Thomas Jefferson May Have Secretly Fathered Multiple Other Countries
Glimpse Of Father’s Toenails Offers Boy Petrifying Vision Of Future
Glimpse Of Father’s Toenails Offers Boy Petrifying Vision Of Future
Crate & Barrel Introduces Line Of Disgusting Couches You Can Put On Your Porch
Crate & Barrel Introduces Line Of Disgusting Couches You Can Put On Your Porch
FBI Declassifies J. Edgar Hoover’s Extensive File On The Munster Family
FBI Declassifies J. Edgar Hoover’s Extensive File On The Munster Family
Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’
Trump: ‘I Am A Very Stupid Human Being’
Firebrand John McCain Demands Immediate Investigation Into Why He Remaining Complicit
Firebrand John McCain Demands Immediate Investigation Into Why He Remaining Complicit
Slight Breeze A Major Factor In Wiffle Ball Game
Slight Breeze A Major Factor In Wiffle Ball Game
Laptop Really Getting Off From Having Both USB Ports Stuffed
Laptop Really Getting Off From Having Both USB Ports Stuffed
CC Sabathia Chowing Down On Homemade Marinara Baseball Sub
CC Sabathia Chowing Down On Homemade Marinara Baseball Sub
Nation Allows Itself 5 Minutes To Believe This All Going To Be Over Soon
Nation Allows Itself 5 Minutes To Believe This All Going To Be Over Soon
Sean Spicer Quietly Puts Painting Back Over Unfinished Escape Tunnel
Sean Spicer Quietly Puts Painting Back Over Unfinished Escape Tunnel
Crowd Shocked After Unhinged Trump Dangles Baby From Truman Balcony
Crowd Shocked After Unhinged Trump Dangles Baby From Truman Balcony
Kicking, Screaming Warren Buffett Dragged From Caesars Palace After Losing Everything At Roulette Wheel
Kicking, Screaming Warren Buffett Dragged From Caesars Palace After Losing Everything At Roulette Wheel
Boss Thinks Female Employee Might Be Ready To Handle Job She’s Been Doing For Past 2 Years
Boss Thinks Female Employee Might Be Ready To Handle Job She’s Been Doing For Past 2 Years
Zales Introduces New Line Of Casual Dating Diamond Rings
Zales Introduces New Line Of Casual Dating Diamond Rings
Man Walks In On Roommate In Kitchen Having Way With His Leftovers
Man Walks In On Roommate In Kitchen Having Way With His Leftovers
Trump Trying To Figure Out How To Unsubscribe From Boring National Security Email List
Trump Trying To Figure Out How To Unsubscribe From Boring National Security Email List
Row Of Dusty PlayStation 2 Games Continues Reign At Top Of Book Shelf
Row Of Dusty PlayStation 2 Games Continues Reign At Top Of Book Shelf
Hundreds Of Miniature Sean Hannitys Burst From Roger Ailes’ Corpse
Hundreds Of Miniature Sean Hannitys Burst From Roger Ailes’ Corpse
DNC Chair Tracks Down Biden In Everglades Tossing Whole Chickens To Gators
DNC Chair Tracks Down Biden In Everglades Tossing Whole Chickens To Gators
Mom Sent On Fact-Finding Mission To Read What Parking Sign Down Street Says
Mom Sent On Fact-Finding Mission To Read What Parking Sign Down Street Says
Clinton Receives 400,000 Honorary Degrees For College Commencement Speech
Clinton Receives 400,000 Honorary Degrees For College Commencement Speech
Tick Scientists Confirm 2017 Summer Will Be Best On Record
Tick Scientists Confirm 2017 Summer Will Be Best On Record
Deep Blue Quietly Celebrates 10th Anniversary With Garry Kasparov’s Ex-Wife
Deep Blue Quietly Celebrates 10th Anniversary With Garry Kasparov’s Ex-Wife
Report: Morbid Curiosity Now Accounts For 79% Of Nation’s Snack Food Purchases
Report: Morbid Curiosity Now Accounts For 79% Of Nation’s Snack Food Purchases



Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper