The Week In Pictures – Week Of May 1, 2017

Grandma Looking Like Absolute Shit Lately
Grandma Looking Like Absolute Shit Lately
U.S. Postal Service Appoints First Leather-Clad Postmistress General
U.S. Postal Service Appoints First Leather-Clad Postmistress General
Cameron Diaz Finally Opens Up About Generally Positive Experience In Show Business
Cameron Diaz Finally Opens Up About Generally Positive Experience In Show Business
Thumbtack On Carpet Still At Large
Thumbtack On Carpet Still At Large
God Pissed After Learning Cost To Replace Earth’s Core
God Pissed After Learning Cost To Replace Earth’s Core
Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish
Man Holding Hands With Pregnant Woman Must Have Weird Fetish
Trump Promises Government Will Continue To Fund All Essential Mar-A-Lago Staff During Shutdown
Trump Promises Government Will Continue To Fund All Essential Mar-A-Lago Staff During Shutdown
Closed Shop In Gentrifying Neighborhood To Emerge From Chrysalis As Beautiful Gastropub
Closed Shop In Gentrifying Neighborhood To Emerge From Chrysalis As Beautiful Gastropub
University Of Nevada Renames Vito Corleone School Of Business Following Latest Accusations Against Benefactor
University Of Nevada Renames Vito Corleone School Of Business Following Latest Accusations Against Benefactor
Total Dipshit Fans Think Pop-Up Fly Ball Going To Be Home Run
Total Dipshit Fans Think Pop-Up Fly Ball Going To Be Home Run
Metallica Board Of Directors Debates Whether New Riff Will Have Negative Impact On Shareholder Value
Metallica Board Of Directors Debates Whether New Riff Will Have Negative Impact On Shareholder Value
Locks Of Love Completes Construction Of Massive Hair Silo Capable Of Holding 150,000 Pounds Of Hair
Locks Of Love Completes Construction Of Massive Hair Silo Capable Of Holding 150,000 Pounds Of Hair
Christ Appears In Roman Court To Contest 2,000-Year-Old Riot Charges
Christ Appears In Roman Court To Contest 2,000-Year-Old Riot Charges
Gorsuch Nervous About Showering In Front Of Other Supreme Court Justices
Gorsuch Nervous About Showering In Front Of Other Supreme Court Justices
Gap Debuts New Line Of Children’s Sweaters To Clutch To Chest When Son Goes Missing
Gap Debuts New Line Of Children’s Sweaters To Clutch To Chest When Son Goes Missing
Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean
Nation’s Sanitation Workers Announce Everything Finally Clean
Department Of Interior Asks For Resignation Of Obama-Era Elk
Department Of Interior Asks For Resignation Of Obama-Era Elk
Chemicals That Pushed Man’s Ancestors To Run Down Wild Boar Flare At Sight Of White Cheddar Popcorn Bag
Chemicals That Pushed Man’s Ancestors To Run Down Wild Boar Flare At Sight Of White Cheddar Popcorn Bag
Ecuadorian Officials Starting To Get Sick Of Julian Assange Always Leaving Dirty Dishes All Over Embassy
Ecuadorian Officials Starting To Get Sick Of Julian Assange Always Leaving Dirty Dishes All Over Embassy
Mark Zuckerberg Touts Complete Lack Of Cannibalism On Facebook Live So Far
Mark Zuckerberg Touts Complete Lack Of Cannibalism On Facebook Live So Far
Justin Trudeau Unveils Plan To Meet Healthcare Needs Of Canada’s Aging Prog Rockers
Justin Trudeau Unveils Plan To Meet Healthcare Needs Of Canada’s Aging Prog Rockers
Cracking Sound Alerts Man He Reaching Styrofoam Plate’s Weight Limit
Cracking Sound Alerts Man He Reaching Styrofoam Plate’s Weight Limit
Super 8 Offering Writers Residency For Anyone Working On Suicide Note
Super 8 Offering Writers Residency For Anyone Working On Suicide Note
Man Who’s Only Halfway Through Life Can Already Guess How It’s Going To End
Man Who’s Only Halfway Through Life Can Already Guess How It’s Going To End
David Crosby Shows Photo Of Dwarven Blacksmith To Barber To Give Idea Of What He Wants
David Crosby Shows Photo Of Dwarven Blacksmith To Barber To Give Idea Of What He Wants



Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper