The Week In Pictures – Week Of March 19, 2018

Newborn Constantly Terrorized By Horrifying Shapeless Blobs
Newborn Constantly Terrorized By Horrifying Shapeless Blobs
Audience Left Wondering What Happened After Action Film Pans From Character To Shot Of Blood Spattering Against Wall
Audience Left Wondering What Happened After Action Film Pans From Character To Shot Of Blood Spattering Against Wall
Girlfriend’s Birthday Weekend A Nightmarish, Labyrinthian Journey Through Her Darkest, Most Depraved Desires
Girlfriend’s Birthday Weekend A Nightmarish, Labyrinthian Journey Through Her Darkest, Most Depraved Desires
Betsy DeVos Argues Issue Of Guns In Schools Should Be Fully Left Up To Individual Shooters
Betsy DeVos Argues Issue Of Guns In Schools Should Be Fully Left Up To Individual Shooters
CDC Rolls Out Fleet Of Narcan Biplanes To Fumigate Opioid-Ravaged Small Towns
CDC Rolls Out Fleet Of Narcan Biplanes To Fumigate Opioid-Ravaged Small Towns
CNN Panelists Warn North Korea Situation Way Too Complex For Them To Discuss Intelligently
CNN Panelists Warn North Korea Situation Way Too Complex For Them To Discuss Intelligently
Swans In Committed Relationship Barely Ever Arch Necks Into Heart Shape Anymore
Swans In Committed Relationship Barely Ever Arch Necks Into Heart Shape Anymore
Kinky Couple Has Mirror In Bathroom
Kinky Couple Has Mirror In Bathroom
FDA Cancels Bacon Recall After Finding U.S. Population Already Ate It All
FDA Cancels Bacon Recall After Finding U.S. Population Already Ate It All
Rex Tillerson Blindsided By News He Still Worked For State Department
Rex Tillerson Blindsided By News He Still Worked For State Department
Morale Low At State Department After Only Employee Fired
Morale Low At State Department After Only Employee Fired
Woman All Geared Up To Complain About Work Sidelined By Friend With Marital Problems
Woman All Geared Up To Complain About Work Sidelined By Friend With Marital Problems
Man Unsure How To Expose Self To Woman He Likes Without Coming Off As A Creep
Man Unsure How To Expose Self To Woman He Likes Without Coming Off As A Creep
Secretary Of State Fired After Inappropriately Weighing In On International Politics
Secretary Of State Fired After Inappropriately Weighing In On International Politics
Rex Tillerson Shoots Mike Pompeo Quick Email Explaining All The Countries
Rex Tillerson Shoots Mike Pompeo Quick Email Explaining All The Countries
Gina Haspel Recalls Having To Torture More Prisoners Than Male Colleagues To Prove Herself
Gina Haspel Recalls Having To Torture More Prisoners Than Male Colleagues To Prove Herself
Mike Pompeo Startled After Seeing ‘Beware Of Hubris’ Scrawled In Oil On Bathroom Mirror
Mike Pompeo Startled After Seeing ‘Beware Of Hubris’ Scrawled In Oil On Bathroom Mirror
Entire Life Of Universe Flashes Before Stephen Hawking’s Eyes
Entire Life Of Universe Flashes Before Stephen Hawking’s Eyes
Proud Billionaire Helps Young Son Open First Offshore Bank Account
Proud Billionaire Helps Young Son Open First Offshore Bank Account
New Workplace Diversity Initiative Kills One White Employee Every Hour On The Hour Until More Minority Candidates Hired
New Workplace Diversity Initiative Kills One White Employee Every Hour On The Hour Until More Minority Candidates Hired
Historians Say It Still A Mystery How People In Ancient Times Didn’t Just Go Crazy And Kill Themselves
Historians Say It Still A Mystery How People In Ancient Times Didn’t Just Go Crazy And Kill Themselves
Stephen Hawking Leaves Behind Beautiful Legacy Of Unheeded Warnings To Humanity
Stephen Hawking Leaves Behind Beautiful Legacy Of Unheeded Warnings To Humanity
Last Cherry Tomato In Salad A Wily Little Bastard
Last Cherry Tomato In Salad A Wily Little Bastard
Department Of Education Study Finds Only 30% Of Students Adequately Prepared For Spring Musical
Department Of Education Study Finds Only 30% Of Students Adequately Prepared For Spring Musical
Construction Union Seeks To Reduce Incidence Of Accidents Involving Babies Crawling On Steel I-Beams
Construction Union Seeks To Reduce Incidence Of Accidents Involving Babies Crawling On Steel I-Beams
Busy Schedule Forces Vladimir Putin To Move Up Election Win A Couple Days Early
Busy Schedule Forces Vladimir Putin To Move Up Election Win A Couple Days Early
NRA Ad Director Still Searching For Right Sinister Music To Play Over Footage Of High Schoolers
NRA Ad Director Still Searching For Right Sinister Music To Play Over Footage Of High Schoolers
Border Wall Prototype Clearly Designed By Yayoi Kusama
Border Wall Prototype Clearly Designed By Yayoi Kusama
Heinz Introduces Industrial-Sized Ketchup Packet
Heinz Introduces Industrial-Sized Ketchup Packet
Report: Friend’s Apartment Not Nice Enough To Be Asking People To Take Off Shoes
Report: Friend’s Apartment Not Nice Enough To Be Asking People To Take Off Shoes
Concerned Nation Gently Encourages Boston To Take It Easy This St. Patrick’s Day
Concerned Nation Gently Encourages Boston To Take It Easy This St. Patrick’s Day
Bath & Body Works Unveils New Soothing Eucalyptus Road Flare
Bath & Body Works Unveils New Soothing Eucalyptus Road Flare
Report: 99% Of Employees Would Use Boss As Human Shield In Event Of Workplace Attack
Report: 99% Of Employees Would Use Boss As Human Shield In Event Of Workplace Attack
Elon Musk Embarrassed After Realizing He Proposing Idea For Thing That Already Exists
Elon Musk Embarrassed After Realizing He Proposing Idea For Thing That Already Exists
Molly Hatchet Posts Surprise Upset In Former Deep Purple District
Molly Hatchet Posts Surprise Upset In Former Deep Purple District
‘The Onion’ Hires Several Pastry Chefs Away From Entenmann’s To Form New Bakery
‘The Onion’ Hires Several Pastry Chefs Away From Entenmann’s To Form New Bakery
‘You Did The Best You Could,’ Says Iron Man Action Figure Voiced By Despondent Toys ‘R’ Us CEO Packing Up Office
‘You Did The Best You Could,’ Says Iron Man Action Figure Voiced By Despondent Toys ‘R’ Us CEO Packing Up Office
Exhausted Mueller Trying To Find Trump Organization Russia Documents Amid Thousands Of Harassment Lawsuits
Exhausted Mueller Trying To Find Trump Organization Russia Documents Amid Thousands Of Harassment Lawsuits
Doll Real Estate Agent Glosses Over Giant Hinged Opening In Middle Of House
Doll Real Estate Agent Glosses Over Giant Hinged Opening In Middle Of House
Paul Giamatti Cuts Back On Acting To Focus On Signature Line Of Shapeless Khakis, Rumpled Polos
Paul Giamatti Cuts Back On Acting To Focus On Signature Line Of Shapeless Khakis, Rumpled Polos
‘I Must Make Sure You Have The Skills To Please My Grandson,’ Says Queen Elizabeth Disrobing Before Meghan Markle
‘I Must Make Sure You Have The Skills To Please My Grandson,’ Says Queen Elizabeth Disrobing Before Meghan Markle
Facebook Announces Plan To Combat Fake News Stories By Making Them Actually Happen
Facebook Announces Plan To Combat Fake News Stories By Making Them Actually Happen
Lowe’s Introduces 2-Way Ladder User Can Also Climb Down
Lowe’s Introduces 2-Way Ladder User Can Also Climb Down
Vagina Has Five O’Clock Shadow
Vagina Has Five O’Clock Shadow
Subpoenaed Trump Organization Financial Documents Reveal Company’s Only Holding Is Single Dairy Queen In New Jersey
Subpoenaed Trump Organization Financial Documents Reveal Company’s Only Holding Is Single Dairy Queen In New Jersey
Donald Trump Jr. Divorce Leaves Confused, Heartbroken Nation Wondering Why Bad Things Happen To Good People
Donald Trump Jr. Divorce Leaves Confused, Heartbroken Nation Wondering Why Bad Things Happen To Good People
Teach For America Celebrates 3 Decades Of Helping Recent Graduates Pad Out Law School Applications
Teach For America Celebrates 3 Decades Of Helping Recent Graduates Pad Out Law School Applications
Rick Perry Apologizes For Trying To Outdo Fellow Cabinet Members By Using $72 Million Of Taxpayer Funds On Lampshade
Rick Perry Apologizes For Trying To Outdo Fellow Cabinet Members By Using $72 Million Of Taxpayer Funds On Lampshade