Get The Paper. Become A Member.

Friday, September 13, 2024

party cloudy and rainy weather icon 74°

Just look it up online

America’s Finest News Source

Friday, September 13, 2024

party cloudy and rainy weather icon 74°

Just look it up online

Official The Onion merchandise that can be found in The Onion store.

Shop The Online Store.

The Week In Pictures – Week Of January 14, 2013

Published:

Dancing Machine Overheats
Dancing Machine Overheats
4 Copy Editors Killed In Ongoing AP Style, Chicago Manual Gang Violence
4 Copy Editors Killed In Ongoing AP Style, Chicago Manual Gang Violence
Man Returns To Work After Vacation With Fresh, Reenergized Hatred For Job
Man Returns To Work After Vacation With Fresh, Reenergized Hatred For Job
Frustrated Wayne LaPierre Thought Murder Of 20 Children By Crazed Gunman Would Have Blown Over By Now
Frustrated Wayne LaPierre Thought Murder Of 20 Children By Crazed Gunman Would Have Blown Over By Now
Psychiatrists Warn Nation’s Used Car Salesmen Going Insane, Practically Giving Cars Away
Psychiatrists Warn Nation’s Used Car Salesmen Going Insane, Practically Giving Cars Away
31-Year-Old Now The Only One Of His Friends Who Hasn’t Gotten Married, Divorced
31-Year-Old Now The Only One Of His Friends Who Hasn’t Gotten Married, Divorced
Taylor Swift Now Dating James Holmes
Taylor Swift Now Dating James Holmes
Russell Crowe Praised For Stunning Portrayal Of Man Who Cannot Sing Or Act In ’Les Misérables’
Russell Crowe Praised For Stunning Portrayal Of Man Who Cannot Sing Or Act In ’Les Misérables’
Career Spider Not Sure She’s Ready For 3,000 Children At This Point
Career Spider Not Sure She’s Ready For 3,000 Children At This Point
2012 Was Once Considered Hottest Year On Record, Man In 2024 Remembers Wistfully
2012 Was Once Considered Hottest Year On Record, Man In 2024 Remembers Wistfully
AIG Nearly Blows All The Goodwill Built Up By Wall Street In Recent Years
AIG Nearly Blows All The Goodwill Built Up By Wall Street In Recent Years
Air Force One Pilot Invites Excited Obama Into Cockpit
Air Force One Pilot Invites Excited Obama Into Cockpit
Man Has Alarming Level Of Pride In Institution That Left Him $50,000 In Debt, Inadequately Prepared For Job Market
Man Has Alarming Level Of Pride In Institution That Left Him $50,000 In Debt, Inadequately Prepared For Job Market
Ben Affleck Nominated For Best Friend Of Matt Damon
Ben Affleck Nominated For Best Friend Of Matt Damon
Gorilla Sales Skyrocket After Latest Gorilla Attack
Gorilla Sales Skyrocket After Latest Gorilla Attack

Print Is Back. Get The Paper. Become A Member.

Advertising

Explore Tags

Related Coverage

Read More

Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper

Send Us Money Until the Throbbing Subsides

Get an inside look into the most respected news-gathering operation to ever exist. Keep the Onion Free For All.

Become a Member. Get the Paper.

The More You Pay, The Better The News