The Week In Pictures – Week Of February 24, 2020

Published:

February 24, 2020

Pope Francis Attempts To Compromise On Rule-Change Proposals By Allowing Priests To Marry Him

Parenting Experts Reveal Forcing Child To Shoot Dying Pet Only Teaches Lesson About Mortality For First 5 Or So Times

Man Who Didn’t Order Anything Online Still Checks Name On Package Just In Case Amazon Sent Him A Little Present

Waiter Asks If Couple Would Like To Pack Him Up In Little Box And Take Him Home For Later

Overwhelmed Archaeologists Struggling To Keep Pace With Glut Of Early Humans Thawed Out By Climate Change

Boy Scouts Leadership Confident Organization Can Overcome Stigma Of Bankruptcy

Armed Teacher Rehearses Shooting Wall, Gunman, 3 Students During Active Shooter Drill

Trump Celebrates New Hospital Opening With Oxygen Tube-Cutting Ceremony

Report: Average Life Expectancy Increases To 18.2 Years For Americans Who Go Out Like Fucking Legends

Thousands Of PETA Activists Descend On Hoover Headquarters To Protest Vacuum Cleaner That Spooked Dog

New CIA Torture Program Concert Series Brings Metallica Into Black Sites To Play 72-Hour Sets

Rod Blagojevich Somehow Already Governor Of Illinois Again Minutes After Prison Release

‘I Love My Wife Marcia And 2 Beautiful Kids, Tad And Hayden,’ Says Buttigieg In Latest Campaign Shift

Carnival Sinks Cruise Ship Rather Than Letting It Fall Into Coronavirus’ Clutches

Panicking Aides Finally Locate Biden At Wrong Venue Following Cirque Du Soleil Performers Onstage

Last-Second DNC Rule Change Requires Candidates Spend At Least $300 Million Of Own Fortune To Make Debate Stage

‘I’ll Rule You Peasants With An Iron Fist,’ Says Bloomberg To Standing Ovation During DNC Debate

Chuck Todd Reminds Candidates That If They Want More Time To Speak There Are Melee Weapons Under Each Of Their Lecterns

Increased Airtime Of Chantix Commercials Results In Ray Liotta Qualifying For Democratic Debate

Stephen Miller Spends Entire Honeymoon In Hotel Room Calling ICE On Cleaning Staff

Mom With Arms Full Of Groceries Holds Baby By Scruff Of Neck With Mouth

‘Four Quarts Make A Gallon. The Frontal Lobe Controls Decision Making. The Ottoman Empire Dissolved In 1922,” Says Amy Klobuchar, Continuing To Name Trivia Facts Hours After Debate Ends

Biden Begging Donors To Stop Sending Money So He Can Quit Race

Recently Concussed Americans March On Washington D.C. Demanding The Right To Sleep

Bloomberg Housekeepers Brace For Another Day Of Dressing Up Like DNC Candidates And Letting Boss Beat Them In Debate

Passengers Aboard Coronavirus Cruise Ship Refusing To Leave After Forming Unlikely Friendships With Each Other That Transcend Nations, Languages

GM Ups Ante In SUV Race With New 14-Seat, 11-Door, 7-Wheel, 4-Trunk Chevy Teton

Everyone In Symphony Audience Has Finger Cocked Under Beer Can Tab For First Sign of Crescendo

Experts Concerned Pale Russian Mystic Constantly At Trump’s Side May Attempt To Influence 2020 Election

Indian Elephant Forced To Busk On Hollywood Boulevard After Los Angeles Bans Exotic Animal Performers

Trump Administration Rolls Back Hunting Regulations Forbidding Use Of Chokeholds, Eye Gouging On Birds

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