The Week In Pictures – Week Of February 17, 2020

Published:

February 17, 2020

Study Finds Leading Cause Of Childhood Obesity Witches Fattening Up Children To Be Eaten

Mom Still Seething Over Car That Blew Through Stop Sign 15 Years Ago

Western Culture Ends

Engineer Thinking Bridge For This One

2020 Race Upended After New Poll Finds Trump, Democrats Trailing Mysterious Rune-Covered Obelisk By 80 Points

Increasingly Unhinged Centrists Announce Plan To Round Up Nation Into Camps To Force Them To Engage In Meaningful Dialogue

Health Officials Warn It Is Impossible To Tell If American Cruise Ship Passengers Suffering From Coronavirus Or Just Like That

‘He’s A Cop,’ Say Bernie Backers, Withdrawing Support After Realizing Candidate Vying To Be Commander In Chief

NASA Launches Really Nice Nikon DSLR Camera Strapped To Rocket To Gather Photos Of Sun

Man Crippled By Fear Of Failure As If It Hadn’t Already Happened

Study Finds Dating Apps Most Effective Way To Find Everyone Your Age Apparently Kayaking Now

Fertility Clinic Employee Asks Couple If They’d Like To Play With Sperm Out Back And Get To Know It Better

Poll Finds Bloomberg Trailing Among Young Black Males He’s Already Thrown In Prison

Bloomberg Campaign Raises Visibility By Pumping $5 Million Into #BloombergIsRacist Hashtag

Flustered New Hampshire Bed And Breakfast Host Informs Biden, Sanders, Buttigieg, Warren, Klobuchar They’re All Booked For Same Room

‘It’s Time To Go, Mr. Stone,’ Says Ski-Masked William Barr After Running Prison Bus Off Road

Army Guy Wears Glasses

Man Calms Down From Violent Rage After Seeing ‘Or Current Resident’ On Misaddressed Letter

Giannis Antetokounmpo To Take Off Next 3 Seasons With Standard European Paternity Leave

Emergency Room Staff Assures Parents That Burger King Chicken Fries Will Pass Naturally Through Child’s System

Best In Show Poodle Tearfully Advocates For Joaquin Phoenix Rights During Speech At Westminster Dog Show

Pregnant Woman Finally Knows Joy Of What It Feels Like To Be Big Fat Guy

Moderates Worry Klobuchar Splitting People-Who-Will-Vote-For-Anybody Vote

Man Has Faint Inkling Of What Greeting Card With Picture Of Donkey On It Might Say Inside

CEO Of Robotics Corporation Tells Sobbing Andrew Yang That He Was His Greatest Creation

Fox News Producer Knows His Work Formulaic But At Least It Helps People Escape Reality For Couple Hours

Man Scrambling To Furnish Apartment Before Date Shows Up

‘You Should Put Your Name On The Karaoke List!’ Reports Greedy, Gluttonous Hunger For Strangers’ Approval

Mike Bloomberg: ‘I Apologize For The Damages My Past Policies Have Caused To The Negro Community’

Jimmy Carter Added To Mount Rushmore After Becoming 5th Former President To Bowl Perfect 300

CDC Recommends Also Wearing Face Mask On Back Of Head In Case Coronavirus Attacks From Rear

Diagram Warning Child Could Drown In Bucket Much More Clear In Hindsight

Couple Takes Weekend Trip Outside City To Get Away From All The Arts And Culture

Nevada Addresses Concerns About Election Security By Switching To Electronic Voters

Dad Unleashes Haunting Moan Of Satisfaction Upon Descending Into Hot Tub

God Announces Major Overhaul Of Procreation Process For 2021

Report Finds Average U.S. College Student Over $28,000 In Debt To Yakuza

Mayo Clinic Offers Special Chocolate Heart Transplant For Valentine’s Day

Bloomberg Hires Thousands Of Canvassers To Stop Black Men On Street And Force Them To Hear Campaign Pitch

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