The Week In Pictures – Week Of December 9, 2019

Published:

December 9, 2019

Mom Changes Words Of Prayer To Be More Cheerful

Pete Buttigieg Admits Only Recently Realizing Black People Can Vote

Nation Calls For Letting Biden Rub Women’s Shoulders Again After Seeing What He’ll Do Instead

All Of Woman’s Problems Stem From Never Having Visited Europe

Horrifying Series Of Unspeakable Actions Result In $39 Crock-Pot Being Delivered To Man Same Day

‘Team Umizoomi Actually Kind Of Interesting,’ Reports Stay-At-Home Dad On Verge Of Full Psychotic Breakdown

Man’s Life Spent Occasionally Eating Barbecue In Between Doing Things He Hates

Michael Bloomberg Treats Self To Second, Flashier Presidential Campaign

Washboard Player In Jug Band Tired Of Spoons Guy Getting All The Chicks

Antonio Brown Proves He’s Changed Man By Breaking Into Robert Kraft’s House In Middle Of Night To Apologize

British Royal Family Condemns Media’s Ugly Attacks On Their Traditional Practice Of Sexual Abuse

Kamala Harris Supporter Insists Her Inspiring Message Of Something Or Other Will Always Live On

One-Eyed Man Who Kamala Harris Locked Up 25 Years Ago Quietly Removes Tulsi Gabbard Mask

Loved Ones Located All The Way On Other Side Of Heaven

Jilted Trump Announces Formation Of Cooler, Way More Powerful NATO With His New Best Friends Oman, Macedonia, And Suriname

Mom Scolds Child For Pointing At Homeless Man Instead Of Ignoring His Very Existence

Hands-Off Fantasy Football Player Only Checks Team 132 Times Each Sunday

Report: Would’ve Been Nice If Dad Had Loved Original Family This Much

Woman Tries Reading Shampoo Bottle Directions In French First To Test If She’s Secretly Smart

Researchers Release Teeny Little Minotaur Into Maze To Test Mice’s Capacity To Use Enchanted String

Boris Johnson Worried Anti-Semitism Accusations Against Labour Party Will Hurt Tories’ Hold On Bigot Vote

Jimmy Carter Devotes Rest Of Life To Raising Awareness Of Fact That Men Get UTIs Too

Sonny Perdue Argues Food Stamp Cuts Will Incentivize People To Get Exploitative Jobs That Won’t Exist In 5 Years

Mother Confident That Adult Son’s Cycle Of Emotional Terrorism Will Calm Down Once He Finds The Right Girl

Matt Gaetz Solemnly Raises Pistol To Head After Realizing He Used Barron Trump’s Name While Scolding Witness For Using Barron Trump’s Name

Man Doesn’t Want To Put Too Much Effort Into Fixing Up House He Just Going To Burn Down For Insurance Fraud One Day

Sight Of His Beautiful Bride Walking Down Aisle Fills Man With Overwhelming Happyish Feeling

Trump Orders National Christmas Tree Be Cut To One Inch Shorter Than He Is

Cabal Of Handsome Male Celebrities Agrees To Continue Withholding Baldness Cure From Public And Jude Law

World Wildlife Fund Apologizes After Years Of Working With Well-Known Whale Pedophile

Pete Buttigieg Blames Inability To Disclose Political Stances On NDA With Buttigieg Campaign

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