The Week In Pictures – Week Of December 25, 2017

Stepson Absolutely Nailing Jeopardy Category About Third Reich

Overworked Pajama Bottoms Pray Owner Gets Job Soon

92% Of Area Woman’s Holiday Recipes Involve Pulverizing Bag Of Oreos

Boss’s Sexual Harassment A Lot More Cautious Lately

Robert Mueller Ascends Into Sky With Umbrella After Trump Family Promises They Learned Lesson About Honesty

Area Man Remembers Less Politically Correct Time When Christmas Was About Honoring The Glory Of Saturn

Prego Marketing New Marinara As ‘The Premiere Sauce For The #MeToo Moment’

Russian Agent Disgusted With Things He Forced To Do To Pass Self Off As Reddit Commenter

Man Worried New ‘Jumanji’ Movie Going To Ruin Memory Of Mediocre Afternoon In 1995

Trump-Appointed Judicial Nominee Displays Legal Expertise By Withdrawing Nomination

Secret Santa Seems To Think You A Big ‘Laverne & Shirley’ Fan

Study Finds Chickens Would Have No Qualms About Caging, Eating Humans

Sun Thinking Of Just Collapsing Now And Getting This All Over With

10-Pack Of Swiss Miss Bracing Itself To Shoulder Burden Of Holding Together Man’s Depressing Holiday Alone

Area Man Stops Self After Eating 3 Advent Calendars

‘Support Small Business’ Demands Sign In Window Of Boutique Open Five Hours A Day, Three Days A Week

GOP Leaders Celebrate Decisive Win Over Americans

Free Couch Sitting On Curb For Months

Cardinal Law Canonized Following Miracle Of Escaping Criminal Prosecution

Paul Ryan Slits Auto Mechanic’s Throat To Kick Off GOP Purge Of Working Class

Study Finds Fewer Millennials Want To Live

Everyone In Sporting Goods Store Looking For Something To Get On Stepson’s Good Side

Crazed, Froth-Mouthed Mother Demands Grandchildren Now

Bonobo Embarrassed After Walking In On Parents, Siblings, Cousins, Friends, Partner Having Sex

Man Wondering When ‘Ocean’s 8’ Trailer Going To Show Film’s Protagonist

Paul Ryan Confident American People Will Warm Up To Tax Plan Once They Realize Life A Cruel And Meaningless Farce

Cash-Strapped Florida Retiree Desperately Selling Off Anything Of Value

Report: More Americans Forced To Sell Gold Pocket Watch In Order To Afford Set Of Fine Combs For Wife

Child Who Just Wanted Clothes Spares Uncle’s Feelings By Pretending To Like Xbox

Visibly Flu-Stricken Choir Kid Really Dragging Down Whole Christmas Pageant

Woman On First Date Feels Like She Could Spend Whole Life In Uncomfortable Silence With This Man

Kids Getting A Little Old To Still Believe In Innate Charitable Goodness Of Humans

Sweetgreen Expands Line Of Kids’ Meals For Adult Women With Eating Disorders