Following the death of Cecil the lion in Zimbabwe, many governments are beginning to question the ethics and fallout of trophy hunting as a sport, while others say the arguments against it are overblown. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of big-game hunting:
PRO
Gives animal kingdom stern reminder about who’s top dog
Get to be one of very few people to experience raw, primal exhilaration of being reviled by tens of millions of people
Lot of empty wall space in apartment
Killing fun
Chance of being killed by lion drastically reduced once they are extinct
Part of time-honored tradition that dates all the way back to humankind’s earliest assholes
CON
Shoulder pain from recoil of elephant gun
Already hard enough for female lions to find decent mate
Taxidermists often get eyes wrong
Bizarre sexual gratification of murdering large game can only satisfy for so long before you must turn to humans
Lion’s next of kin only get small portion of hunting fee
When people ask “Do you shoot defenseless animals with metal arrows, wait until they bleed out, and then stuff their remains for decoration?” the answer is “Yes”
