Recent advancements in gene editing have introduced a number of exciting possibilities for human advancement and raised difficult ethical questions. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of gene editing.
PRO
Could help eradicate genetic diseases in rich people
Would raise level of competition in child beauty pageants
No longer need to totally bust ass cultivating inner beauty
Will create thousands of high-paying jobs for struggling ethics professors
May be capable of creating a family member who doesn’t always fuck everything up
Attractive people are better than unattractive people
CON
Hereditary gene that causes glaucoma only thing left to remember grandpa by
No way the Pope is going to go for this
Far fewer inspirational morning show segments about kids beating cancer
Would extend the lives of assholes, too
What if they make some super-disease and inject a bunch of giant hornets with it or something? What then, hotshot?
Mom already dead
