Last week, Kmart bought Sears in a surprise $11 billion deal, creating the nation’s third-largest retailer. What do you think?
“It’s about time a serious heavyweight challenged Wal-Mart’s position as the most depressing place on earth.”
Etta Newkirk • Radiation Therapist
“As a major purchaser of lawn shit, I’m as happy as I let myself get.”
Chester Hoyt • Systems Analyst
“Does this mean the Sears Tower will be repurposed for Kmart? Just think how awesome a giant red neon “K” is gonna look up there on the top of that mamma jamma!”
Javier DeKalb • Winch Operator
“I’m glad I no longer have to choose between Kmart and Sears. It often made things very uncomfortable.”
Leo Nevins • Biologist
“I’m gonna love the look on their faces when I announce that I, F.W. Woolworth IV, am relaunching the trusted Woolworth name!”
F.W. Woolworth IV • Financier
“But… I just want a new dish brush…”
Alicia Bergen • Broadcast Technician
