According to a new report by the USDA, the cost of raising a child until age 18 now exceeds $245,000, after which many parents will also have to foot the bill for college. Here is a breakdown of the most common child-care expenditures:
$224.99: The same kind of shoes Dylan has
$75: Quick succession of turtles
$20/hour: Sitter to replace Grandma
$900: Better video games than ones at ex-husband’s house
$49: All-day park admission for less than two hours at zoo
$0: Vaccinations
$600: Leadership retreat for 3-year-old
$3,000: Unappreciated trip to Europe
$10: Pill organizer
$5,000: Rewards for children after good, average, poor behavior
$90: Just one goddamn photo of all three kids looking nice together, which isn’t too much to ask
$12,000: College savings that will be exhausted by first midterm
