Every day, new parents across the country are confronted with the question of whether to circumcise their infant sons. Here are the strongest arguments for and against circumcision:
FOR
Penis tans more evenly
Kid already European enough as it is
Never have to wash genitals
Lots of really cute cuts available these days
Frames the balls better
Baby will probably have some leftover painkillers
Not our penis we’re talking about here
AGAINST
Penis loses value once removed from original packaging
Get to describe baby as “my fully intact son”
Mohel looks like he’s had about eight cups of coffee
Probably have to do some paperwork
Not performing circumcision immediately after birth allows parents to hold it threateningly over son’s head for rest of life
Traditional family gathering just as enjoyable without foreskin
Some individuals wary of having someone cut off a piece of their penis with a knife
