Thanksgiving Football Highlights

1920: The Akron Pros, Decatur Staleys, Dayton Triangles, and Chicago Boosters all emerge victorious in what is surely something made up on Wikipedia

1956: Although CBS receives the rights to televise the game between the Packers and the Lions, the network refuses to show any plays covering more than 10 yards, as they are deemed unsuitable for home audiences

1989: The Philadelphia-Dallas game becomes known as the Bounty Bowl due to Eagles coach Buddy Ryan allegedly offering players a year’s supply of paper towels to injure Cowboys kicker Luis Zendejas

1993: In what millions of viewers describe as a beautiful and uplifting experience, snow falls in droves at Texas Stadium and the Cowboys lose in the last second

1994: In attempt to slow down the Packers pass rush, the Cowboys bolster their offensive line by stuffing guards Larry Allen and Nate Newton with 400 pounds of oyster dressing

1998: After losing the overtime coin toss, the Steelers’ Jerome Bettis insists his in-air call of “coin” was technically correct

2000: In a rambling interview embarrassing for everyone involved, John Madden forces Randy Moss to compare his two-TD, 144-yard performance to the “cranberry sauce on the Thanksgiving table”

2009: The goddamned Lions play again