Tammys Of The World Demand To Be Taken Seriously

UNITED NATIONS—In a historic United Nations summit Tuesday, the world’s 178,000 Tammys convened to demand that they be treated with the same respect afforded the world’s approximately 5.1 billion non-Tammys. “Tammy discrimination has been ignored for too long, and it’s high time we took action,” said summit organizer Tammy Mugler, 24, an assistant manager at an Atlanta-area Orange Julius. “Do you realize that in the entire history of the United States, no Tammy has ever been elected to federal office?” Tammy Halford, 38, a Vienna, VA, data-entry clerk, said: “As soon as people hear my name, they start to make assumptions about me. The Christines and Helens of the world don’t know how good they have it.” The world’s Heidis expressed support for the summit.