Vol 55: Issue 41

Sports

Kyler Murray Stuns On Field In New Platform Cleats
Local

Middle School Boy Assumes Crush Staring Into His Eyes During Slow Dance Waiting For Him To Make Fart Noises With Hands
Local

‘At Least Someone’s Getting Pregnant,’ Reports Mother-In-Law Watching News Story About Child Brides
News, News In Brief

PG&E Makes Amends For Power Outages By Pumping Wires Full Of So Much Electricity That Plugging In Lamp Will Kill You
American Voices, Opinion

2 Associates Of Giuliani Indicted On Campaign Finance Charges
Politics

Trump Flees Government Oppression By Relocating Administration To Remote Cabin Compound In Mountains Of Idaho
OGN, Previews

Preview: ‘Pokémon Sword and Shield’ Is Sadly Marred By The Addition Of Sponsored Content Pokémon Like Boo Berry, Pep Boy Moe, And Florida Orange
News, News In Brief

3M Releases Command Self-Adhesive Meat Hooks For Serial Killers Trying To Reduce Clutter
American Voices, Opinion

Montgomery, Alabama Elects First Black Mayor
Entertainment, Magazine

The Awful Baboon: How We Wish It Were Endangered
Politics

Timeline Of The GOP’s Relationship With Trump
Entertainment

Movie Theater Security Reports Suspicious Behavior After Patron Buys Ticket To ‘Gemini Man’
American Voices, Opinion

Biden Calls For Trump’s Impeachment
Local

Business That Supposedly Considers Itself One Big Family Doesn’t Want Employees Bathing Together
OGN

PS5 vs. Xbox Project Scarlett: What We Know So Far
News, News In Brief

Bank Hostages Can’t Believe Police Didn’t Spring For Better Pizza
News, News In Brief

Pfizer Unveils New Prescription Medicine To Help Adults Quit Sitting

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