Vol 55: Issue 28

Politics

‘It’s Not So Bad,’ Mike Pence Reports On Conditions Of Detainment Center While Hazmat Suit Disinfected
Sports

Russell Westbrook Quietly Asks Rockets Team Doctor If He Needs To Make Free Throw To Pass Physical
Politics

Mike Pence Assures Detained Children That They Will Have Safe, Sanitary Conditions In Heaven
News, News In Brief

Jeffrey Epstein Offers Court $32 Million Child Pornography Collection As Bail
Politics

Nation Not Sure How Many Ex-Trump Staffers It Can Safely Reabsorb
News, News In Brief

National Park Service Releases Detailed Guide On What Visitors Should Do Upon Encountering Squirrel
Politics

Trump Honors Brave Heroes Who Slept With Wives Of Deployed Soldiers
Entertainment, Magazine

I’m Pregnant And You’re The Father
News, News In Brief

Study Finds Majority Of American Health Insurance Plans Don’t Cover Sending Sickly Child To Convalesce In Countryside
Politics

Paul Ryan Lauded For Inspiring Millions Of Young Gutless Fucking Cowards To Take On Leadership Roles
News, News In Brief

ICE Sends Agents Home With Sacks Of Flour To Practice What It Like Detaining Real Baby
News, News In Brief

Epstein Attorneys Denounce Accusers For Trying To Ruin Career Of Successful Child Molester
Commentary

At The Peak Of My Fame, I Could Have Slept With Any Werewolf, Mummy, Or Ghoul I Wanted
Local

Lucky Bar Mitzvah Boy Gets To Be Picture For ‘Bar Mitzvah’ Wikipedia Page
Sports

U.S. Soccer Federation Argues It Ridiculous For Female Players To Expect Same Pay As Huge Stars Like Daniel Lovitz, Djordje Mihailovic
News, News In Brief

Legal Experts Note Uproar Over Epstein Scandal May Lead To Legislators Outlawing Pedophilia
Sports

Phoenix Suns Gorilla Involved In Altercation At Glendale-Area Gentlemen’s Club

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