Vol 48: Issue 49

Commentary, Opinion

I Get To Determine Whether Gay People Can Marry
Politics

Boehner Just Wants Wife To Listen, Not Come Up With Alternative Debt-Reduction Ideas
Entertainment

The Week In Pictures
Featurette, Local

Chad Greene and Danielle Faye
Entertainment

Sesame Street
News, News In Photos

Tokyo Adds 100-Story Toadstool To Skyline
News, News In Photos

Supreme Court To Hear Cases Determining Whether Human Beings Deserve Equal Rights
American Voices, Opinion

Pot, Gay Marriage Now Legal In Washington
News, News In Brief

Chris Christie Dreaming About 72-Inch Springsteen Sub
News, News In Brief

New Study Finds Primitive Customers Capable Of Buying Tools From Hardware Store
Local

Area Family Has No Idea Where Dad Gets Shirts
Entertainment, Magazine

Why I Serve Nude: The First Totally Naked Marine Shares His Thoughts On Fighting In Afghanistan
American Voices, Opinion

Starbucks Opening 3,000 New Stores
Entertainment

Massage That Broderick!
Politics

Obama Paranoid Government Coming For His Guns
Local

Man Freely Smoking Pot in Washington Literally Has No Issue He Feels Strongly About Anymore
American Voices, Opinion

Apple To Assemble Some Computers In U.S.

Unlock ‘The Onion’ Vault

Journey through 268 years of highly acclaimed, universally revered reporting. The Onion‘s archives comprise the most powerful and influential news coverage in human history.

Explore More

Historical front pages from The Onion's historical archive.