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Study: Many People Moved By Falsely Profound Statements

A new study investigates the common traits among those who are most moved by pseudo-profound but ultimately meaningless statements, finding that this failure to detect nonsense could “cause one to confuse vagueness for profundity.” What do you think?

Rod Lepkin • Signage Commissioner

“Man, I can’t believe I let a string of fancy words sucker me into watching a sunrise.”

Rod Lepkin • Signage Commissioner

Shane Vogel • Frosting Specialist

“The scientific community needs to stop picking on idiots.”

Shane Vogel • Frosting Specialist

Chelsea McEnroe • Preschool Recruiter

“Still, it must be pretty great to experience a mind-blowing epiphany every time you check Facebook.”

Chelsea McEnroe • Preschool Recruiter




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper