Study Finds Over 60% Of Men Suffer From Male-Pattern Head Loss

CHICAGO—Finding that a majority of men are likely to experience some form of it during their lifetime, a study published Friday in The Journal Of The American Medical Association concluded that over 60% of men will suffer from male-pattern head loss. “A condition that afflicts around 3 in 5 men, male-pattern head loss first presents itself with a receding neckline and continues with the subject gradually losing most of his skull until a horseshoe formation of bone is all that remains,” said study co-author and research physician Matt Nellermoe, observing that while some men embrace their head loss, others will wear hats or toupées in an attempt to cover up their thinning craniums. “Despite head loss being an overwhelmingly common development, men are often stigmatized when they lose all or part of their head. Many men say they feel less confident and less sexy without a head, though surveys find they are often rated more attractive once they no longer have theirs.” Nellermoe added that while head loss was nothing to be ashamed of, men do have the option of consulting one of the many head restoration specialists who transplant fresh new human heads onto their clients’ necks.