Pride month is recognized each June in remembrance of the 1969 Stonewall Uprising in Manhattan, when a police raid at a gay club sparked the riot that began the gay rights movement. While at its core Pride is a celebration of and for the LGBTQ+ community, straight people often join in the festivities. We talked to several straight Pride celebrants about what the month means to them, and this is what they said.
James Hoffman, Leather Tanner
“Easily my busiest time of the year.”
Zack Garcia, Delivery Driver
“I think it has something to do with middle-aged white guys in Arctic camo cargo shorts losing their shit in a Kohl’s?”
Sara James, Salesperson
“That magical time of the year when I feel outraged 24/7.”
Ted Cruz, U.S. Senator
“It’s a great reason to ask for more campaign contributions.”
John Bailey, Anesthesiologist
“Penises. Penises entwined together and loving each other in bliss. Two, three, seven penises together having fun. My penis is involved and I love it. Me and many men climax and we hug.”
Peter Madison, Plumber
“They had me at throwing bricks.”
Hillary Stern, Lawyer
“That time of the year when we all agree to celebrate the thin slice of queerness that looks good on the Chase Bank Pride float.”
Herb Simpson, Train Conductor
“As an ally, I wake up every day in June and read the word ‘homosexual’ in the dictionary to remind myself of its definition.”
Jordan Pham, Chiropractor
“Pride is a time to celebrate and be your true self. That’s a lot different than Elvis Presley look-alike competitions, where the goal is to hide who you are and pretend to be Elvis instead.”
Yaman Zoghul, Engineer
“It’s when gay people emerge from their burrows to mate before going back into hibernation for 11 months.”
Sabrina Jacobs, Accountant
“It’s that special time of year when I constantly bring up that I experimented in college once.”
Carson Healy, Mechanic
“I think it’s gay people’s version of Hanukkah.”
Jean Lockhart, Eye Doctor
“Pride means I apparently can’t drink a Bud Light without my husband punching a hole in the wall.”
Kirk Worley, Janitor
“Pulling out a gun and threatening a store’s employee because I saw a rainbow on my way to grab bleach and dog food.”
Laxman Narasimhan, Starbucks CEO
“Sorry, I’ve never heard of ‘Pride.’”
Jed Miller, Financial Analyst
“It’s the only event that’s ever made me feel out of place, and it must be stopped.”
Sander Gold, Doctor
“Pulling a triple shift in the Float Trauma unit.”
Ted Wu, Investor
“Giving hugs to the gay people at work, whether they say they want them or not.”
