Stouffer’s Targets People Spending Thanksgiving Alone With New Single-Serve Frozen Family

ROSSLYN, VA—In an effort to better serve customers who weren’t invited to or hosting holiday meals, Stouffer’s targeted people spending Thanksgiving alone Thursday with a new single-serve frozen family. “Our single-serve frozen families offer a convenient and intimate Thanksgiving solution for those who might otherwise have no one to celebrate with,” said Stouffer’s spokesperson Allison Wirth, adding that the new product line comes in 12 different kinds of family. “For best results, you simply remove the frozen family from their packaging 24 hours before the meal to give them sufficient time to thaw in their chairs. If you’re tight on time, though, you can also bake each family member in the oven on high for two hours, at which point they should be ready to converse, laugh, and cheer on the football game. With our wide varieties of family, you can get grandparents, kids, aunts, uncles—even a little dog! At Stouffer’s, we believe everyone having Thanksgiving alone this year deserves the same loving family experience as those who can gather with loved ones by offering you loved ones of your own.” At press time, Stouffer’s had issued a recall on thousands of defective single-serve frozen families containing a cousin who’s a real asshole.