The Commonwealth of Virginia recently apologized for slavery. Following Virginia’s lead, other states have apologized for these past transgressions:
Alaska: Not taking better care of glaciers
Maine: Briefly joining the USSR at height of Cold War
Arkansas: Accidentally killing Oklahoma’s state bird, replacing it with passable facsimile
Hawaii: Faking Pearl Harbor
Wyoming: Moving its border one mile west into Idaho every year since 1923
Kansas: Never having counted the vote of an Irishman
Arizona: Seducing nation’s elderly into its 115-degree death trap
Georgia: Not giving slaves enough to do from 1857 to 1859
