When it comes to infidelity, sometimes actions speak louder than words. Here are the most important signs to watch out for if you think your significant other might be cheating on you.
They’re Suddenly Happy
If you catch that sack of shit smiling more than once, something isn’t right.
Your Partner Makes Any Attempt At Self-Improvement
After seven years, there’s no way they’re trying to do better for your benefit.
Your Gut Tells You So
Trust your intuition. It was right the first seven times.
They Call Out Another Person’s Address In Bed
There’s no surer sign that they’re not only thinking about someone else but they know exactly where to find them.
Dubious Errands
Your partner’s trip to CVS shouldn’t last the entire weekend.
They Remove The Tracker
Would someone who is faithful really go to all the trouble to dig a microchip out of their forearm?
They Book You A Flight To A Taping Of
Nothing spells infidelity more than being invited onto a stage on national TV to physically fight your spouse’s new lover.
Having Six Sets O
If they’re not a janitor and they’re not dog-sitting, you can bet they’re cheating with someone new every day of the week.
They Add A Password To Their Genitals
What do their privates have to hide that they’re not telling you?
Divorce Cosplay
If your partner wants to spice things up by going to court and getting legally separated, you might be in trouble.
Out O
If your partner is completely out of cum, there’s a good chance it’s going somewhere else.
You Go To Your Significant Other And Their Lover’s Wedding
Your significant other is probably cheating on you if they ask you to be part of their wedding party at their upcoming wedding to someone else.
An Infidelity Omen
You might learn of your significant other’s unfaithfulness through a dark portent like an owl holding the underwear of your partner’s tennis instructor in its beak.
They’re Cast In The Film
If you value your relationship, you’ll do anything possible to keep your partner from being cast in this 2005 action-romance film.
Their Penis Falls Off Due To Overuse
If your SO’s genitals slide straight off of their groin, there’s a chance it’s because it withered up and died from too much activity between you and their extramarital lover.
Stops Charging Their Sex Robot On The Bedside Table
If your partner stops charging their sex robot next to you, then it’s probably because they’re probably both having sex with someone else.
You F
And you’re just supposed to believe they have no idea how that got there?
FBI Sends You Phone Recordings
Much like MLK, if the Federal Bureau of Investigation contacts you and plays you a recording of your partner speaking with a secret lover, then your days together could numbered.
When You Ask Your Significant Other If They’re Cheating On You And They Reply “
Could be a dead giveaway.
Herpes
Sorry.
