As if sharing your life with a loving, supportive significant other wasn’t bad enough. Here are the most obvious signs your mother-in-law actually hates you.
She Challenges You to D’Rhakur, the Maternal Rite of Combat
Two warriors will enter the sacred arena, but only one will leave with your partner’s heart.
Your Brakes Are Mysteriously Cut Whenever You Leave Her House
Once could have been anybody, but by now the pattern has become pretty clear.
She Wants Grandchildren
This is an obvious ploy to make you miserable forever.
She Appears To Love Your Spouse More
Try as you might, you can’t get her to treat you with the same level of affection she gives the child she raised from birth.
She Smiles And Is Nice To You Every Time She Sees You
No doubt about it, that woman is saying awful things about you behind your back.
She Has Purchased A Headstone For You Engraved With A Death Date In The Near Future
Those things aren’t cheap, and she’ll probably be motivated to get her money’s worth.
She Denies You The Anti-Venom
The last thing you ever hear after that cottonmouth bite is your mother-in-law telling your spouse that there are plenty of fish in the sea.
She Only Refers To You As “Grandchild Maker”
Don’t need to read between the lines on this one.
She Tries To Trick You Into Infidelity
Knowing that it would end your marriage, she constantly traps you in a room alone with alcohol, a bearskin rug, and an absolute stud.
She’s Trained Her Guard Dogs To Attack You On Sight
Calling her vicious canines to go in for the kill is a subtle hint she may have an issue with you.
She Scratches Your Face Out Of Family Photos
She doesn’t even do this to pictures of her ex-husband.
She Makes You Sleep Alone In A Shed When You Visit
Of course, if it used to be a tent, she may be warming up to you.
She Teaches Your 2-Year-Old The Quickest Way To Get Legally Emancipated
You may be angry, but it’s still impressive that your child’s first word was “emancipation.”
She Gives You An Imperceptibly Smaller Piece Of Dessert
She knows what she’s doing.
She Stopped Having Sex With You
It’s natural for the in-law honeymoon phase to wear off, but if you’re not even getting lucky on your birthday, there’s definitely some underlying resentment there.
She Turns Away From YouTube Videos You Want To Show Her
Even early classics like David at the dentist!
Her Most Recent Holiday Gift To You Was A Hitman
It would have been thoughtful if you weren’t the target.
She Doesn’t Apologize After Running You Over With Her Car
If she apologized you could chalk it up to a mistake, but not if she runs you over and then backs over you again without saying sorry.
She Just Won’t Die
If she continues to fight for life, it’s only to make your life a living hell.
