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Should Joe Biden Run Again?

Age means many things in the American political arena. To some, it connotes wisdom, grace, and experience. To others, it suggests a fading gerontocracy that has grown increasingly out-of-touch with the average American. As the oldest commander-in-chief in the history of our republic, the current president’s age demands a vigorous discussion to settle the question: Should President Joseph R. Biden run again? Here—in The Onion’s first-ever roundtable discussion—the paper’s editorial columnists argue for and against the proposition in a legally binding debate—one that will force President Biden to bend to our ultimate decision or face immediate imprisonment.— The Onion Editorial Board

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Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper