Shocking Biblical Study Reveals Methushael Did Not Beget Lamech

WHEATON, IL—In a development that has thrown 6,000 years of peer-reviewed genealogy into disarray, scriptural researchers from Wheaton College released the results of a biblical study Wednesday that they say offers definitive proof that Methushael, son of Mehujael, did not in fact beget Lamech. “This discovery will forever change the way we look at the line of Cain,” said lead research theologian Steven Baer, adding that although there was still sound evidence of Cain begetting Enoch, Enoch begetting Irad, Irad begetting Mehujael, and Mehujael begetting Methushael, his team was unable to find a reliable primary source for Lamech’s begetting by Methushael. “This is truly fascinating, because if Lamech was never begat, then who was the begetter of Adah’s two sons Jabal and Jubal, the latter being famously the first harp player ever begot? There is also the possibility that Lamech of the line of Cain and Lamech of the line of Seth are one and the same, which would mean that Lamech was begot of—you guessed it—Methuselah!” Baer conceded, however, that this proposed chronology would only align if Methuselah lived to be 600, rather than the generally accepted span of 969 years.