Senate Passes Emergency Border Funding To Prevent Female Leadership From Spreading To U.S.

WASHINGTON—Saying threats were at record levels after the recent presidential election in Mexico, the Senate passed emergency border funding Monday to prevent female leadership from spreading to the United States. “Given the very disturbing trend of empowerment and gender equality currently developing south of the border, it is critical that we act quickly to stem the tide,” said Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro N. Mayorkas, who added that the bipartisan Senate bill would allocate over $19 billion to hire thousands of new Border Patrol officers and Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents in order to prevent a new wave of women from entering the United States, holding positions of power, and breaking the glass ceiling. “Given what we’ve seen across the border from Texas and California, the female empowerment crisis is only getting worse. Should we let this continue, we risk losing our nation to strong, capable, confident women. And we cannot by any means let that happen.” At press time, Mayorkas applauded the Senate for also passing a bill that would invest $30 billion in American men so the disadvantaged group could overcome gender discrimination once and for all.