Florida physics professor Costas Efthimiou has devised a simple mathematical proof stating that vampires cannot exist. What do you think?
“So I’ve been sleeping all day in a coffin, hanging upside down in a cave lair, and drinking human blood for nothing?”
Michael Poole • Bog Limnologist
“I wish I had tenure. If I spent all my time in the warehouse thinking up crap like that, I’d get canned in a heartbeat.”
Bobbi Delaney • Fabricator
“This news will likely hit The Count the hardest. Destroyed by the very numbers he loves.”
Gavin Jacobson • Machinist
