A draft contract containing details about Sarah Palin’s speaking fee and requirements was obtained by California State University, Stanislaus, students who claim they found the document in a Dumpster. Here are some of her demands:
Hotel room must have a “moose couture” styling to it
Most recent copy of all newspapers
Children’s caretaker must be of Korean ethnicity or higher
50-gallon aquarium containing a minimum of eight piranhas that haven’t been fed in a week and a bucket of ducks
If the name of the speaking venue exceeds four syllables, then it must be temporarily changed to “Thompson Hall”
Book of word searches and package of string cheese for Todd
Extra red clothing just in case something happens to her other red clothing
Audio engineer must ensure speakers are capturing full cuntiness of voice
Dressing-room lighting fixtures must be equipped with non-efficient bulbs
Palin must have “five (5) black pillar candles of 13″ in length and 3” in circumference, one (1) stone altar of Baphomet, one (1) obsidian dagger, and one (1) baby delivered to her dressing area no less than two hours prior to her speech”
