Ryan Braun Not About To Look Like An Idiot By Attempting Diving Catch In Outfield

ST. LOUIS—Saying he wasn’t about to make an idiot out of himself on national television by splaying across the field like some kind of asshole, Milwaukee Brewers left fielder Ryan Braun opted to play a fly ball on a hop Tuesday night instead of “looking stupid” by trying to make a diving catch. “First off, it would have made me look desperate, which is humiliating enough,” Braun said during a postgame press conference, adding that in addition to the embarrassment of potentially missing the fly ball, he would have then had to stand around in front of tens of thousands of people with grass stains on his uniform. “If it’s between saving a run or saving my dignity, I’m going to go with dignity every time.” Braun did however admit it would have been impossible to look dumber than Prince Fielder, who at the time was sitting on first base eating mozzarella sticks out of his pocket.