Romney Stands Behind Ryan To Show Good Campaigning Stance

COLUMBUS, OH—In order to demonstrate proper campaign posture, Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney stood behind running mate Paul Ryan on Saturday and gently guided the younger man’s hips and elbows into an ideal speaking stance, sources confirmed. “There you go…just let the speech flow from here,” Romney reportedly said while patting Ryan’s abdomen and resting his chin on his shoulder as he maneuvered the Wisconsin congressman’s shoulders into a more confident position, his strong but soft hands gradually plying the naive representative’s frame into that of a master statesman. “You’re doing terrific,” whispered the former Massachusetts governor as his right ear lightly brushed against Ryan’s cheek. “You’re a natural.” At press time, the candidates’ eyes had met, their gaze holding for upwards of 20 seconds.