Last week, Rep. Peter King (R-NY) held a controversial hearing entitled “The Extent of Radicalization in the American Muslim Community and that Community’s Response.” Here’s some of the information that came out of testimonies given there:
Almost 97 percent of Muslims are so un-American they can’t eloquently summarize Federalist Paper No. 51 and James Madison’s argument for checks and balances
That delicious spice in their food? That’s sumac; man, it’s so good
When Muslims scratch their bearded chins and look up, they’re most likely thinking of new ways to blow up something
There is a massive international Muslim conspiracy to subvert all democracies everywhere, a fact its members were obligated to disclose because they were under oath
Unfortunately, not one witness knows Cat Stevens personally
Muslims always back their cars into parking spaces, even though it doesn’t really save any time in the long run
They’re pretty much the only thing keeping Dearborn, MI’s economy afloat
Muslims can vote, and they probably won’t be casting ballots for the party that hauled them before Congress because of their religion
