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Report: Tanning Beds Addictive

A study in the Archives Of Dermatology found that many people who regularly use indoor sunlamps meet the standard criteria for addiction. What do you think?

Emergency Doctor • Jay Evans

“Any finding that brings more caramel-colored cuties to my ER is valid by me.”

Emergency Doctor • Jay Evans

Carla Sims • Solvent-Plant Treater

“I used to be addicted to indoor tanning. The lotiony smell of the bed. The weird little glasses. The bunny stickers for the bikini area. No! Be strong. You’re happy being pale, Carla. Don’t chase that rabbit again…”

Carla Sims • Solvent-Plant Treater

Cal Washam • Systems Analyst

“To the extent that the tanning bed is my favorite place to shoot up, they are correct.”

Cal Washam • Systems Analyst




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper