Report: It Going To Take A Lot More Than ‘Love Shack’ To Bring Wedding Guest Out To Dance Floor

CARMEL, IN—In a report that shed new light into “How to really get this party going,” wedding guest Melissa Ramirez confirmed Friday that it was going to take a lot more than “Love Shack” to bring her out to the dance floor. “If you think dropping a silly little song like ‘Love Shack’ is going to make people leap out of their seats, then you’ve got another thing coming,” said Ramirez, who noted that the DJ was going to have to bring his A game if he thought middling tracks like “We Are Family” or “Tainted Love” would cut it. “It’s got to be faster. It’s got to be louder. And it’s got to be something choreographed. Look at these poor people now, they can’t dance to this. They’re just kind of standing there shimmying. I’m not getting out there for anything less than the ‘Cha-Cha Slide.’” At press time, Ramirez was shaking her head as her entire table jumped to their feet upon hearing the opening bars of “I Want You Back.”