Report: 80% Of Queen’s ‘Greatest Hits’ CDs Lodged In Center Console Of First Car

WASHINGTON— Confirming that most copies have not been played since high school, a report released Wednesday by the Pew Research Center found that 80 percent of British rock band Queen’s Greatest Hits CDs are currently lodged in the center console of someone’s first car. “Our data indicates that while nearly four out of five copies of this bestselling compilation album can be found in the center console among old ATM receipts and a pen cap, the CD may also in certain instances be jammed edgewise between the center console and driver’s seat,” said head researcher Lisa Peterson, adding that a vast majority of copies have a hairline scratch that causes the track “Another One Bites The Dust” to skip approximately two minutes in. “We also found that a small but not insignificant minority of these discs occupy a protective sleeve alongside a self-made mix labeled ‘Summer 2002’ or the Red Hot Chili Peppers’ Californication.” Peterson went on to say that those few copies of Queen’s Greatest Hits that are not in an automobile are currently stuck inside the dust-covered seven-disc stereo system that was put in the basement in 2007.