Just because a product says it’s recyclable doesn’t mean it is. Click through The Onion’s quiz to see if you can guess whether each of the following products belong in the trash or recycling.
A Leatherback Sea Turtle
Trash or recycling?
Recycling
Leatherback sea turtles are recyclable! Just make sure to cut the turtle up into pieces first.
Yogurt Cup
Trash or recycling?
Trash
Rinsing it out in the sink is so much work, and the garbage can is right there. Nobody is going to know. Just do it. It’ll be your dirty little secret.
Crushed Spiders In Paper Towels
Trash or recycling?
Either
We both know you’re just gonna run it at arm’s length to the trash and drop it in whichever can is easier to open in your panic.
Syringes
Trash or recycling?
The Ground
Syringes are actually better left littered on the ground throughout the streets to serve as a misinformed visual metaphor for how a city has gotten dangerous.
Energy-Efficient Light Bulbs
Trash or recycling?
Trash
Bet you thought you were some sort of climate hero, didn’t you?
Pizza Box
Trash or recycling?
Recycling
All cardboard pizza boxes can be returned to a Papa John’s location, where they will be turned into fresh new pizzas.
Sensitive Documents
Trash or recycling?
Recycling
Come on, what are you trying to hide, anyway?
Mayonnaise Jars
Trash or recycling?
Recycling
Keep in mind, however, that recycling facilities will only accept them if you leave a couple spoonfuls behind as a tip.
The
Trash or recycling?
Trash
It’s not like it’s a painting with boobs, or nipples, or a really cool horse.
Glass Milk Jugs
Trash or recycling?
Trash
Unfortunately, if you’re getting milk in glass jugs, you live in a pre-recycling era.
Cell Phones
Trash or recycling?
Trash
Although technically recyclable, it is much cooler to toss a cell phone into a dumpster like an action movie star who just committed a major crime and must leave behind no trace.
Lithium-Ion Batteries
Trash or recycling?
Recycling
If you even thought about trashing these you clearly don’t care about America maintaining its stronghold in critical minerals and retaining its superpower status.
Plastic Bags
Trash or recycling?
Trash
Unfortunately, plastic bags are no longer accepted at most recycling facilities because workers often mistake them for toys, put their heads inside them, and die from suffocation.
Trash
Trash or recycling?
Recycling
Sending your garbage to the recycling plant ensures that the sorting machines stay busy and don’t slack off.
That Thing In Your Hand
Trash or recycling?
Trash
Just throw it out. Who cares?
