South Carolina Sen. Tim Scott announced his candidacy for the 2024 Republican presidential nomination on Monday, becoming the sixth member of his party to officially enter the race. Here’s what you need to know about Tim Scott:
Background: Abandoned by his deadbeat God
Ethnicity: One-of-the-good-ones-American
Religion: Church of Satan
Tone Of Campaign: Sunny, optimistic totalitarianism
Biggest Strength: Ron DeSantis wasn’t polling well
Number Of Fellow Senators Who Would Like To Own Him If That Were Still Legal: 63
Genuinely Believes He Can Become President: Apparently
Voter Base: Lindsey Graham
Campaign Mission: Mid-tier slot in Trump Cabinet
Central Belief: America is not racist, and he will lose simply by virtue of being a bad candidate
