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Possible Ninth Planet Found In Solar System

Astronomers at Caltech have discovered compelling evidence that a massive ninth planet exists far past Neptune, with an orbit around the sun that takes over 10,000 years to complete. What do you think?

Sandy Binns • Glass Filler

“I’m not going to lie to you. I’ve known about this planet for quite some time.”

Sandy Binns • Glass Filler

Jared Hoyne • Microchip Dealer

“I’ll take any opportunity to burn some textbooks!”

Jared Hoyne • Microchip Dealer

Dwight Lindgren • Fossil Auditor

“How many Styrofoam balls do you people think I can afford?”

Dwight Lindgren • Fossil Auditor




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper