Quarterback, Denver Broncos
Strengths: Tuning out all the distracting noise from his in-helmet headset; Puts ball exactly where receiver can’t fuck everything up
Weaknesses: Sometimes wishes he could be mowing the field instead of playing on it; Has not yet attained father’s approval; Sends mixed messages by continuing to wear Colts workout gear
Guilty Pleasure: Making Eric Decker needlessly run back and forth before snap
Least Favorite Brother: Cooper
Age He Fell In Love With Football: 31
Biggest Regret: Shooting that guy for Marvin Harrison
Better Ingredients: Better pizza
Pregame Ritual: Putting on helmet
Retirement Plans: Coaching football, watching football, broadcasting football, camping, promoting football, playing football
