,

Pentagon Proposes Scaling Back Army To Pre-WWII Levels

Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel proposed a new Pentagon budget that would shrink the U.S. Army to its smallest size in 74 years and retire an entire fleet of A-10 “Warthog” jets, cuts he said would allow for a more versatile, technologically advanced force. What do you think?

Jackson Cummings • Software Installer

“Yeah, we did things just right in the run-up to World War II.”

Jackson Cummings • Software Installer

Brenda Sockaloe • Furniture Arranger

“Our enemies who wanted America to have a more versatile, technologically advanced fighting force have won!”

Brenda Sockaloe • Furniture Arranger

Harry McKee • Sound Mixer

“I give it 10 months before Hagel comes crawling back to the Flying Warthogs.”

Harry McKee • Sound Mixer




Sample front page of The Onion's DNC paper