Parents Attempt To Wean Ornery Toddler Off Cigarettes

PITTSBURGH—Hoping to break the habit the young child had clung to since infancy, local parents Maria and Robert Feinsod confirmed Monday they were attempting to wean their ornery toddler off cigarettes. “We’re just so used to lighting one up for him every time he gets fussy, but we think it’s probably time he stopped smoking,” said Maria Feinsod, explaining that they had made little progress because their 16-month-old son, Jacob, threw a fit every time they tried to take away his pack of Marlboro Reds. “We’ve always relied on the cigarettes to help settle him down, especially at bedtime, so it’s been really hard. I’ve tried everything from e-cigarettes to nicotine gum, but he always spits them out. It’s relatively harmless now, but his pediatrician said if Jacob keeps smoking, it might cause tooth decay.” At press time, the Feinsods expressed relief after they had successfully coaxed the toddler into trying Red Man chewing tobacco.