Pacific Ocean Quarantined After Contact With Carnival Cruise Ship

WASHINGTON—In an effort to control the spread of a significant health threat, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention quarantined the Pacific Ocean Monday after the body of water reportedly came into contact with Carnival’s Crown Princess cruise ship. “This morning at 10:05 a.m., we confirmed direct exposure between the Pacific Ocean and a Carnival cruise liner, and we took immediate action to confine all 63.8 million square miles of its water,” said CDC director Thomas Frieden, adding that crews were erecting a biohazard tent over the area spanning from Tokyo Bay to the Los Angeles coastline. “The movement of all sea life will be highly restricted while the Pacific Ocean is closed off for a full 30-day monitoring period, during which time health officials will inspect the marine expanse for symptoms of any Carnival Cruise-based contagion.” Frieden expressed relief that officials had fortunately prepared for this possibility and caught the outbreak before any infected waves reached the shore.